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Post by love15 on Dec 9, 2005 12:03:15 GMT 3
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially a realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars."
"Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you
sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?! "
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The boy replied,
"Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on ThreeMillion Dollars.............. but Realistically,.........
we're living with two Sluts and a Queer.
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Post by myrella on Dec 9, 2005 12:05:19 GMT 3
hahaha LOL thats a real good one!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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marats
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Post by marats on Dec 9, 2005 23:16:41 GMT 3
A good one !!!
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Post by Tish on Dec 11, 2005 3:14:51 GMT 3
Every Sunday my partner and I buy the sunday newspapers and enjoy them outside with a good cup of coffee....what makes me laugh is a little serial with chicks and every week they are doing something funny...It makes my day and makes me chuckle.....I will try and print some and post them if I can find them...
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Post by annie on Dec 11, 2005 12:29:47 GMT 3
note: i'm not posting the exact message coz it has pictures all over...but the whole idea is still whole...
One day in a church, 2 masked gunmen came in toting automatic weapons when the service was about to start.
one of them shouted, "Whoever is not afraid to take a bullet for Jesus, do not run! the rest, SCRAM!!!"
then the choir singers ran....and then the clerics ran...there were about 200 people in the church that day and only 20 stayed behind including the priest...
Then the masked men took their masks off...they told the priest..."Okay father, we can start now...we've gotten rid of the hypocrites.."
now the question....If you were there or a similar event...WOULD YOU RUN?
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agnes
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Posts: 475
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Post by agnes on Dec 11, 2005 13:03:20 GMT 3
O Annie, in that moments we say in german "Oh Gott lass Hirn rieseln" in english it is Oh god lets gush brain  In our class- room for Religion there was hangig a saying ( in german: Gott, wirf Hirn herab aber triff !! ) God, throw down brain but score a hit ;D |
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Post by Tish on Dec 12, 2005 11:01:01 GMT 3
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang
the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on
the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume
filled the room.
What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him no
end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and
ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her
best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch
waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so
provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
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Post by love15 on Dec 14, 2005 14:42:47 GMT 3
How many hot, rich, funny, sweet guys are there out there?
......two, but they're dating each other
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Post by love15 on Dec 14, 2005 14:47:40 GMT 3
Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.
Q. How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand.
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Post by love15 on Dec 14, 2005 14:50:09 GMT 3
A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell "All you sons of cows who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop! All of you sons of cows that are getting on, get your asses in the train cause were leaving". The mother went in and told her son, "we don't use that kind of language in this house." Now I want you to go into your room for two hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I don't want to hear any bad language.
Two hours later, the son comes out of his room and continues playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard the son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your ride was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. For those of you who are just boarding the train, we ask that you stow all of your hand luggage under the seat, remember there is no smoking except on the club car. We hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today".
"For those of you who are pissed off with the two hour delay , please see the cow in the kitchen
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Post by love15 on Dec 14, 2005 14:51:40 GMT 3
The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"
Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS."
"Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient.
"You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."
Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."
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Post by Tish on Dec 17, 2005 14:40:48 GMT 3
LOL to the last two entries they were funny.
Finally a Male dumb Blonde joke!
Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The first says "I tell you, my wife is so stupid, last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!"
The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car", he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"
the third, a blonde male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they have both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch.
However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "I have to laugh when I think about it" he chuckles. " Last week my wife left on vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least five boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a penis!"
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Post by Annie on Dec 20, 2005 13:44:41 GMT 3
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Post by SAFINNO1 on Dec 23, 2005 17:45:58 GMT 3
'Voting error' gave London Games
the BBC have learnt that London only won the 2012 Olympics because of a misplaced vote.
Alex Gilady claims the mistake happened when a vote was cast for Paris instead of the intended recipient, Madrid.
Had the vote gone to Madrid, claims Gilady, they would have finished level with Paris on 32 votes apiece in the penultimate round, behind London.
Gilady suggests Madrid would have won a head-to-head vote with Paris and gone on to beat London in the final round.
Gilady, from Israel, is a senior member of the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and a member of the IOC's London 2012 Co-ordination Commission.
He told BBC News 24 that the incident occurred in the third round of voting in Singapore in July.
"London was ahead, but Paris and Madrid were 33-31 in the votes," said Gilady.
"Let's say what we think now happened, that one member made a mistake and voted for Paris rather than Madrid.
"If he had voted for Madrid it would be 32-32. We would have to have had a vote-off.
"In the vote-off all the votes supporting London would go to Madrid, because the fear was that Paris had a big chance to win.
"Madrid would then have won against Paris.
"Coming to the final against London, all the votes from Paris would have gone to support Madrid.
"Madrid would have won.
"That is now what we think happened. This is what you call good fortune and good luck."
A News 24 investigation appears to support Gilady's suggestion.
During the 2012 vote there was a long delay before the result of the third round was announced, which occurred because a Greek IOC member complained about his vote.
At the time it was assumed someone had failed to vote in time, but it is now clear that all members had voted.
In final round of voting, London beat Paris 54-50 to win the right to host the 2012 Olympics.
Feliciano Maroyal, the chief executive officer for the Madrid 2012 bid, told the Times: "We were very close to winning.
"We can never know if the Greek vote would have been decisive, but it is lamentable for one human error to have ruined all our hard work which we put in trying to win the Games."
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marats
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Post by marats on Dec 23, 2005 22:25:48 GMT 3
A tragic story !!
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Dreams unwind but still it's a state of mind,..I know - Dreams unwind but still it's hard to find - Stevie Nicks...“Marat Safin is a self-tortured genius. He's off the wall with tremendous physical talent. “John Mc Enroe
