Reasons why it's good to be female!

[Annie]

One of my (female) friends emailed this to me and I had to share it with you guys!

Reasons it is good to be a woman:

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.

3. Taxis stop for us.

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.

6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

8. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her rear end.

9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.

13. We will never regret piercing our ears.

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

[me]

very funny, but there are so many more reasons why it's great to be female

1. We can get laid anytime we want
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when
you're drunk
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep
with them
11. Men light our cigarettes for us
12. Men hold the door open for us
13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
14. We're cuter
15. We lie better
16. We're better manipulators
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other
halves- you guys get the couch
18. We always have food in the fridge
19. We don't worry about losing our hair
20. We always get to choose the movie
21. We don't have to mow the lawn
22. We don't have to take out the garbage
23. we don't have to paint the house or walls
24. PMS- yet another excuse to pregnant dog at men
25. Cosmopolitan
26. We can con our way out of anything- not just dig ourselves deeper
into a hole
27. Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold
28. PMS is a legal defense for murder
29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all
over em forever
30. We can masturbate more in a day than men
31. 2 words- multiple orgasms
32. We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals
33. Sweat is sexy on us
34. We never run out of excuses
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could
be having it that often
36. Doggie style- that way we get to watch the game too
37. We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men mess up so
often
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the
corner
40. Women are cleaner
41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt
know)
42. We're better arguers
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals
44. Massage!!!!
45. We're better parents
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men
48. We're flexible
49. When women get pissed we don't destroy property or hurt people- we
just take it out on the world in general because we can
50. Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after
we're 50
51. Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex
52. Men in uniform
53. There is no penis envy
54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because
there's no messy clean-up
55. It generally takes us less to get drunk
56. We have a higher tolerance to pain
57. We often get to cut in line
58. Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DON'T
59. Better tips
60. Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when
men do it, its rather disgusting
61. We have mastered civilized eating- we don't embarass our friends or
make loud bodily noises in public
62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or
smell disgusting- thank god for long pants and perfume!
63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or
carrying our books anytime we want
64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair
65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet
66. Men will pay us for sex
67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile
68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a
time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if
we want
70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if
a car hits us, he gets hurt not us
71. Women sweat less
72. Women smell better
73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money
on flowers or cards- a blowjob and sex fixes all
74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats
75. Women don't get the humor in the three stooges
76. Women have three accessible holes
77. We don't get embarassed when buying tampons
78. We're better gossips
79. We have better fashion sense
80. We're better shoppers
81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man
82. Our friends don't pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone
83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna
tell you)
84. We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our
extreme advantage
85. We don't have to drive when on a date
86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become
presentable- ugly men are just f**ked
87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron
burn" line
88. Women know how fake it
89. Women look better naked
90. We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing
91. When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're
just short
92. Women do less time for violent crime
93. Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up
94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time anynight
95. Womens conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh,
yep ok then bye"
96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood
97. Women never have to see combat
98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves
99. Women are sexier

and the 100th reson its better to be a woman- this one is definitely
worthy of reiteration:

100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!


-xxx-jes me

[Annie]

Urgh!!! What a horrible list! Was it written by a man?! That's the most anti-female compilation......*shudders* Whoever wrote that just set womens liberation back by about a decade According to that, the only good thing about being a woman is opening your legs....... I think I'm worth a little more than that ;D

[me]

Ruth said:

Urgh!!! What a horrible list! Was it written by a man?! That's the most anti-female compilation......*shudders* Whoever wrote that just set womens liberation back by about a decade According to that, the only good thing about being a woman is opening your legs....... I think I'm worth a little more than that ;D

I didn't think it was THAT horrible, but then again, I'm surrounded by men who make the most women degrading remarks ever (although most of the time they're not serious). So this sounded pretty mild to me
okay it does make it sound like we only achieve things by using our bodies, and that we wouldn't be able to achieve anything without it, like we have no brains, and it makes us sound terribly dependent on men, which we are NOT!!

but I still quite like some of the mentioned things.
don't take it seriously Ruth, I'm sure that whoever wrote this didn't mean to upset you, or offend you (I'm sure that I didn't mean to offend you, or anyone else by posting it, so if I did, sorry!! ) and I'm sure he or she knows you're worth more than that ;D

-xxx-jes me

[Vassily]

Ruth said:

Urgh!!! What a horrible list! Was it written by a man?! That's the most anti-female compilation......*shudders* Whoever wrote that just set womens liberation back by about a decade According to that, the only good thing about being a woman is opening your legs....... I think I'm worth a little more than that ;D

That's what I was thinking. Even as a man i didn't enjoy reading it! Yuck!

Ruth, your's funny! Anyway I can turn those against you guys too.:
"1. We got off the Titanic first." - cruelty's your nature. Plus, men can swim, they can wait.
"2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses" - not anymore. Times change. The boss himself can do a sex chnage operation, not to be scared.
"3. Taxis stop for us." - that's why 99% of rape victims are female.
"4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. "- yeah you look like a tree in absence of wind.
"5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo".- That I can't change. Don't know even this in French.
"6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves."- who does?
"7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. "- except for your boyfriend and his zillion friends at work.
"8. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her rear end. " - Guys nowadays don't do it. Are afraid to be thought of wrongly.
"9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there." - No comment
"10. We have the ability to dress ourselves. " - don't get it. Anyway, it takes ages and it than turns out that the neighbour's wife still looks better than you.
"11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked." -what's fan about that, you tell me? It helps develop imagination.
"12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot." -that's why you marry someone 40 years older....
"13. We will never regret piercing our ears. " - it tells people about your habbit of self0mutilation.
"14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems."- guys don't have any problems, so....
"15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway. " why waste the energy if you insult goes in vane?


In other words, guys are not convinced.

[Bichounet]

Agreed.

[Rucinski]

That was so funny guys, Girls Rock
Thanks for post it

[sirius]

hey ruth! i love that list of yours. but i agree with you on ME's list...sorry ME... but that was...ahem......ahem...

i think the speedos and the chocolate ones are the best...ahahahahaha

[Vassily]

Women are pathetic! You guys need to convince yourself that you're not missing something, and that God didn't disadvantage you by making you a woman.

[Annie]

Vassily said:

That's what I was thinking. Even as a man i didn't enjoy reading it! Yuck!

Ruth, your's funny! Anyway I can turn those against you guys too.:
"1. We got off the Titanic first." - cruelty's your nature. Plus, men can swim, they can wait.
"2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses" - not anymore. Times change. The boss himself can do a sex chnage operation, not to be scared.
"3. Taxis stop for us." - that's why 99% of rape victims are female.
"4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. "- yeah you look like a tree in absence of wind.
"5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo".- That I can't change. Don't know even this in French.
"6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves."- who does?
"7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. "- except for your boyfriend and his zillion friends at work.
"8. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her rear end. " - Guys nowadays don't do it. Are afraid to be thought of wrongly.
"9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there." - No comment
"10. We have the ability to dress ourselves. " - don't get it. Anyway, it takes ages and it than turns out that the neighbour's wife still looks better than you.
"11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked." -what's fan about that, you tell me? It helps develop imagination.
"12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot." -that's why you marry someone 40 years older....
"13. We will never regret piercing our ears. " - it tells people about your habbit of self0mutilation.
"14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems."- guys don't have any problems, so....
"15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway. " why waste the energy if you insult goes in vane?


In other words, guys are not convinced.

*hahahahah* Vass,..... you poor boy! You're the only regular male Marat fan here, so enjoy your temporary rebellion against the mighty xx chromosones ;D (We'll take over the world anyway... be nice to us, and we might remember you when we're ruling earth... )

You'll regret calling us pathetic when you're in the grip of first passion, too....... Then you'll be saying women are the greatest things ever created....(which means you've finally seen the light )

[Rucinski]

I want to see you in love Vass... When you are you won't say that we're pathetic anymore, I'm sure of that ;D

[sirius]

Vassily said:

Women are pathetic! You guys need to convince yourself that you're not missing something, and that God didn't disadvantage you by making you a woman.

haha vass... how do u know we think we're missing something? hehe... it could be the other way round you know. ;D
anyway, as ruth says, just bear with it for now...since u've already lasted this long here in the face of all the drooling we do over marat. ;D

[Vassily]

Drooling doesn't bother me. For two reasons:
I go to those thread ones in two days, imagine and estimate in my mind which direction the drooling must have taken by then, and post something not reading anything.
Why I'm in Marat drooling threads, I'm also over at another site drooling over Lena D. or Lina K. of WTA.

Hanging out with some many XX chromosomes is not hard too. To be completely honest I didn't talk to guys until yesterday.

[sirius]

Vassily said:

Drooling doesn't bother me. For two reasons:
I go to those thread ones in two days, imagine and estimate in my mind which direction the drooling must have taken by then, and post something not reading anything.
Why I'm in Marat drooling threads, I'm also over at another site drooling over Lena D. or Lina K. of WTA.

Hanging out with some many XX chromosomes is not hard too. To be completely honest I didn't talk to guys until yesterday.

*ROTFL*... haha...i'm glad u removed your self-imposed exile. u're hilarious to have around. hehe

[Carolineonline]

Why did I miss this thread back then?! I was just looking back at all the old topics here.. and dammn.. this is a funny one! ;D Vass against the girls XX vs. XY... hehe.. nice nice nice.. Anywayz, Vass, I agree with you.. boys are kewler than girlz.. thats why I like them;) As some people say: cant live with them.. cant live without them