Post by annie on Jun 7, 2009 10:50:19 GMT 3
Chapter 28
“Oh. My. God.” Marat gasped, as he looked at the last photo and understood why Hallie was so shocked.
It was simply named “My Universe”. It showed a close up picture of the face of the woman in all the other photos in the collection. She looked like she was sleeping with a smile on her face. She was so serene, so peaceful, so beautiful…so Hallie.
There were a couple other people looking at the 3x4 feet photo of Hallie, and when they looked at her in person, they recognized her as well. And that made her feel more uncomfortable. Add that to the fact that she now knew for sure who these photos belong to—who took them.
She turned to Marat. “Can we leave now, please?” She asked him.
“Why?”
“I feel uncomfortable being here.” She moved closer to Marat, trying to make herself invisible by using him as cover. “People are looking at me…of naked pictures of me. I feel naked.” She was beginning to turn really red from embarrassment.
“Listen, sure they’re looking at you because they recognize you from the pictures…” Marat said.
He lifted her face up so she’d be looking in his eyes and see that he was telling her the truth.
“But they’re also looking at you because you are beautiful. And these photos clearly show that. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
She just looked at him and listened to his words. She felt empowered with what he was telling her but his touch seems to do the opposite, and his proximity didn’t help either.
He made her feel weak like she’s never felt before with anyone else. She felt like she wanted to touch him, to hold him, pull herself closer to him for fear that if she doesn’t, that she will slowly melt, crumble, dissipate.
He looked at her straight in the eyes and he felt something come alive inside of him. A longing, a feeling of wanting.
His eyes traversed her face. Somehow he felt like he was looking at another person. Another woman. He’s looking at Hallie at a whole new other light like he’s never looked at her before.
He appreciated the sensuality of her features. Her eyes were green under the lights, and they were piercing, boring, burning into his soul. And her slightly parted lips, so luscious, so inviting. It’s drawing him to come and take a taste. And he was about to give in until…
“Hallie…” Someone called from behind her.
Marat saw who it was first. It was the same guy he saw the last time at the club. Hallie turned around slowly to look at him, but she didn’t seem surprised. She recognized his voice, and besides, it was his work of art that they have just been looking at. This time she decided she was not going to try to run away.
“Ivan.” She said.
Ivan moved closer to them, taking deep breaths as he did. But when he got to within a foot away from Hallie, she swung and slapped him right on the face.
Marat was shocked, but didn’t try to restrain Hallie. He deserved what he got for interrupting, he thought.
“Okay, I deserve that.” Ivan said, holding his jaw. Her slap really hurt.
“No, you don’t.” Hallie said, “You deserve far worse than that!”
She turned to Marat. “C’mon, Marat, let’s go.”
She walked away, but Ivan grabbed her arm and turned her around. “Hallie please, can we just talk?”
She tried to losen his grip, but he held her tightly in his arms so she couldn’t move and was forced to look at him.
“Man, let her go.” Marat told him.
Ivan loosened his grip, but he did not take her eyes off of Hallie. He looked at her with the same gaze as he had the very first time they met and all the times after that. His gaze was smoldering, and it rendered her breathless.
And as he loosened his hold on her, her defenses began to collapse and there was nothing anyone can do about it. Ivan still has that effect on her.
Marat took Hallie’s hand, pulling her gently away, “Hallie, let’s go.”
“No…wait.” Hallie said softly. She looked at Marat but for a moment and looked at Ivan again. “Just give us a moment.”
Marat felt his stomach twist and turn cold, and his heart drop to what felt like a bottomless pit. But what right has he to feel that way, or to go against Hallie’s wishes? He didn’t have any. So, he let it go. He let her go.
“Okay.” Marat said, “I’ll just…wait outside.”
“Thank you.”
So Marat walked away. When he was a several feet away, he looked back at where he left her. He saw Ivan offered his hand and saw Hallie took it.
Marat and Hallie were in his car, it was still pretty early and she didn’t want to go home yet so she invited herself to Marat’s apartment. She was in a happy mood, and was even humming along with the radio, but Marat didn’t dare ask her why.
Even though he wanted to know and he wanted to ask, he was having second thoughts about it. He was more scared to ask her in this mood than when she was angry. Or maybe he was just scared to hear the answer.
When they got to his apartment, Hallie plunged onto his couch, flicking off her shoes. He, on the other hand, went straight to his room onto his bed. He just lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling tired, more emotionally than physically.
“Mikhailovic, what the hell is wrong with you?” He asked himself.
He looked back at his day with Hallie, trying to make sense of everything he felt, analyzing them but not coming up with an answer no matter how he tried.
The way he looked at Hallie earlier, he felt things that he’s never felt so strongly before. He wanted to hold her, to hug her. He wanted to kiss her, to have her.
He wanted her.
He closed his eyes. He’s had that thought before. He even dreamed about it. But he never felt it like that before. It was just so powerful right then that he feared he was gonna lose control. And he almost did too.
And then Ivan came in the picture and he felt something different again. He felt angry and jealous and he wanted to scream and be mad but he felt powerless to do so. He has never felt that before either. Not that strongly.
It was very different from how angry he could be on the tennis court when things aren’t going his way. He has never felt so incompetent and it made him sick.
He just wanted to stay there in the darkness and solitude of his room, but that was not to be. All of a sudden the door opened and light flooded the room. He sat up in surprise. It was Hallie.
“Did you forget I was still here?” She asked.
She jumped on the bed next to him. “You didn’t come back out, I thought you were sleeping already!”
He looked at her, lying there beside him, looking up at him. She looked so much more comfortable in her skin around him now.
It wasn’t several months ago that she would blush and stiffen up just being in his bedroom. He smiled as he remembered that incident, as he remembered that girl.
No, she is not the same girl, he thought. She most definitely is a woman in his eyes now.
“Aren’t you gonna ask me what we talked about?”
“Why would I want to know?” He said, with an uninterested look.
“Hmm…well, lemme see…” Hallie said, turning over to her left so she’d be looking at him.
“The last time we were together, you said you wanted to know me. And when you left our flat, Jeff told me you were really worried about me and told me that maybe I should let you in, because you deserve it…and because you’re…my friend. So, now, I've decided to let you know everything that’s going on. So…are you gonna ask me what we talked about?”
Marat laid back down on the bed, “No.” He said, “But you’re gonna tell me anyway, right?”
She laughed, “Yeah, I think I will.”
So, Hallie told him everything she and Ivan had talked about. She told Marat, at first she was really mad at Ivan. Not just for his past mistakes but also for putting out her naked pictures for everyone to see.
He explained that he has kept the pictures for a long time. He didn’t really plan on putting out the photos, but since he saw her at the club with Marat, he decided to include them in the show thinking that he may have some friends who would come to see the exhibit and the news will eventually get to Hallie.
He also apologized profusely for leaving her. He told her that he just got really scared and figured she won’t be in danger anyway. He said he planned to come back and get her when he has established himself as someone worthy of her in the eyes of her family.
“And you believed him?” He asked, incredulously.
“Yes.” She said, simply.
It was hard for her not to. She used to love him so much. He was the first man she had ever loved.
“Are you kidding me?” Marat said, he sounded a bit miffed now.
He turned on his side, facing Hallie. He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to ask her if she hasn’t learned her lessons yet about Ivan. He wanted to say there was probably a reason why her family didn’t want him around her. He wanted to tell her she was being stupid. But he restrained himself.
“What am I supposed to do?” She asked. “It’s not like were getting back together.”
“You’re not?” He asked. “You didn’t take him back?”
“No.” Hallie said.
Ivan had asked her, but she didn’t say yes. She told him instead that they could try to be friends. He asked her if it was because of Marat.
When he asked that question, she couldn’t deny the fact that she did feel something for Marat. Of course, there was her family, her brothers, with whom she had just reunited. But there was something there for Marat too, even though she couldn’t articulate it.
So, she didn’t answer his question. She figured she needed to asses and evaluate everything first before she comes up with the conclusion.
But she was not going to tell Marat that either.
“There are far too many factors that I need to think about before I decide on anything like that.” She lay back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
“That’s right!” Marat said, pleased with Hallie’s decision. “You need to consider what your brothers are gonna say. Remember what that guy put you through. I personally don’t want the same thing to happen to you again. I mean, sure, you’re grown up now, and you can take care of yourself, but the emotional torment you underwent through those times, you shouldn’t go through that again.”
Hallie smiled a bit with what Marat said. She feels like he really does care about her, and that made her feel happy. And just to completely take the tension in the air out, she decided it was time to play.
“I know.” She said. “But…he’s just so sexy!”
“What?!”
“It’s true, he is! I mean, who wouldn’t get persuaded by a guy like that?”
“I cannot believe I’m hearing this from you right now…”
“C’mon, you saw him…he had those sexy lips, and eyes that could melt the North Pole…”
“I don’t need to hear that!” He said, covering his ears with the sides of his pillow.
“He’s got an 8-pack!” Hallie continued, laughing. “An 8-pack, not just six!” She tried to pull his hand off the pillow so his ears will be open.
“I’m not hearing you!!”
“I could eat off of his abs, I’m telling you!! I could live off of peanut butter and him alone!”
“Stop!!” He yelled
Marat drove Hallie home because it was already really late. She wasn’t gonna ask him to but he insisted. He was enjoying his time with her, laughing the whole time, and he just didn’t want the night to end yet.
“Hmm…Hal?” Marat said.
They were at the elevator, going up to Hal’s place. He was standing behind her, watching her on the reflective metal door.
“Yeah?” She said, watching the floor number change.
“About what I said in the gallery…when we were looking at your pictures…”
She remembered everything he said and they made her smile, wickedly. “Which part, that I had really amazing legs? That you wouldn’t mind giving me a backrub? That you could eat off of my stomach? Or, that you got horny looking at my photos?”
She looked at him, grinning naughtily. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell my brothers.”
The elevator opened to her floor and she got out, followed by Marat.
He smiled and shook his head, “Well, thank you. But I was gonna say I didn’t meant them.”
“Really?” She said, not turning around.
“Yeah.” He said, “Except for the part where I told you…you’re beautiful.”
That made her stop for a second, but she didn’t want to be obvious so she continued walking.
At the apartment, to Hal’s surprise Keith was there. He was supposed to meet her to see the art exhibit instead of Marat, but apparently he couldn’t get out of work and was even unreachable.
So she was really surprised to see him home. She nagged about him not showing not only for her but also for the supposed woman that gave him the tickets.
In his defense, he said he had promised to take the woman to dinner that Friday. He also reiterated that he didn’t really want to go to the exhibit coz it wasn’t his taste in art.
But, the hot seat was transferred to Hal and Marat when Keith asked about the exhibit.
“So, how was it?” Keith asked, “I heard they have nudes which wasn’t originally in the show?”
Hal and Marat gave each other a look. Keith caught it but he didn’t know what to make of it.
“Well, how was it? Was it classy or tacky? Maybe I should go and take a look anyway, huh?” He said to Marat.
“NO!” Marat said, “I mean, no…you shouldn’t. It’s not worth seeing at all.”
“Really? It’s that bad?”
“Yes, it’s really bad!” Hallie said, “It’s so very bad. Tasteless. You wouldn’t appreciate it, you should stick to classical.”
“Huh.” Keith said, “Okay.”
Marat and Hal gave a collective sigh of relief, silently, of course, lest Keith catches them and get suspicious. Of course, Hallie didn’t want Keith to see her naked pictures. But more importantly, she didn’t want him to know that it was Ivan who took those pictures.
As for Marat, he just didn’t think it was any of his business to say anything about it.
Later that night…
“Hello?” Hallie answered the phone.
The number was not listed in her phonebook so she had no idea who it was.
“Hi.” The person said at the other line. She knew then who it was.
“Why are you calling?” She asked nervously. "How did you get my number?"
She didn’t want to wake up Jeff who was sleeping on the comforter on the floor beside the bed.
“I got it from the guest list you signed at the gallery." He said, "I just wanted to hear your voice.”
Hallie couldn’t respond. What should she say?
“Can I see you?” He asked.
“I don’t know.” She said.
“Please. Hal, I just need to see you.”
She knew she shouldn’t. Her mind was telling her not to. But sometimes the heart speaks louder.
“Okay.” She heard herself say.
“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow night?”
“Okay.”
“Oh. My. God.” Marat gasped, as he looked at the last photo and understood why Hallie was so shocked.
It was simply named “My Universe”. It showed a close up picture of the face of the woman in all the other photos in the collection. She looked like she was sleeping with a smile on her face. She was so serene, so peaceful, so beautiful…so Hallie.
There were a couple other people looking at the 3x4 feet photo of Hallie, and when they looked at her in person, they recognized her as well. And that made her feel more uncomfortable. Add that to the fact that she now knew for sure who these photos belong to—who took them.
She turned to Marat. “Can we leave now, please?” She asked him.
“Why?”
“I feel uncomfortable being here.” She moved closer to Marat, trying to make herself invisible by using him as cover. “People are looking at me…of naked pictures of me. I feel naked.” She was beginning to turn really red from embarrassment.
“Listen, sure they’re looking at you because they recognize you from the pictures…” Marat said.
He lifted her face up so she’d be looking in his eyes and see that he was telling her the truth.
“But they’re also looking at you because you are beautiful. And these photos clearly show that. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
She just looked at him and listened to his words. She felt empowered with what he was telling her but his touch seems to do the opposite, and his proximity didn’t help either.
He made her feel weak like she’s never felt before with anyone else. She felt like she wanted to touch him, to hold him, pull herself closer to him for fear that if she doesn’t, that she will slowly melt, crumble, dissipate.
He looked at her straight in the eyes and he felt something come alive inside of him. A longing, a feeling of wanting.
His eyes traversed her face. Somehow he felt like he was looking at another person. Another woman. He’s looking at Hallie at a whole new other light like he’s never looked at her before.
He appreciated the sensuality of her features. Her eyes were green under the lights, and they were piercing, boring, burning into his soul. And her slightly parted lips, so luscious, so inviting. It’s drawing him to come and take a taste. And he was about to give in until…
“Hallie…” Someone called from behind her.
Marat saw who it was first. It was the same guy he saw the last time at the club. Hallie turned around slowly to look at him, but she didn’t seem surprised. She recognized his voice, and besides, it was his work of art that they have just been looking at. This time she decided she was not going to try to run away.
“Ivan.” She said.
Ivan moved closer to them, taking deep breaths as he did. But when he got to within a foot away from Hallie, she swung and slapped him right on the face.
Marat was shocked, but didn’t try to restrain Hallie. He deserved what he got for interrupting, he thought.
“Okay, I deserve that.” Ivan said, holding his jaw. Her slap really hurt.
“No, you don’t.” Hallie said, “You deserve far worse than that!”
She turned to Marat. “C’mon, Marat, let’s go.”
She walked away, but Ivan grabbed her arm and turned her around. “Hallie please, can we just talk?”
She tried to losen his grip, but he held her tightly in his arms so she couldn’t move and was forced to look at him.
“Man, let her go.” Marat told him.
Ivan loosened his grip, but he did not take her eyes off of Hallie. He looked at her with the same gaze as he had the very first time they met and all the times after that. His gaze was smoldering, and it rendered her breathless.
And as he loosened his hold on her, her defenses began to collapse and there was nothing anyone can do about it. Ivan still has that effect on her.
Marat took Hallie’s hand, pulling her gently away, “Hallie, let’s go.”
“No…wait.” Hallie said softly. She looked at Marat but for a moment and looked at Ivan again. “Just give us a moment.”
Marat felt his stomach twist and turn cold, and his heart drop to what felt like a bottomless pit. But what right has he to feel that way, or to go against Hallie’s wishes? He didn’t have any. So, he let it go. He let her go.
“Okay.” Marat said, “I’ll just…wait outside.”
“Thank you.”
So Marat walked away. When he was a several feet away, he looked back at where he left her. He saw Ivan offered his hand and saw Hallie took it.
_______________________________________________
After about an hour…
Marat and Hallie were in his car, it was still pretty early and she didn’t want to go home yet so she invited herself to Marat’s apartment. She was in a happy mood, and was even humming along with the radio, but Marat didn’t dare ask her why.
Even though he wanted to know and he wanted to ask, he was having second thoughts about it. He was more scared to ask her in this mood than when she was angry. Or maybe he was just scared to hear the answer.
When they got to his apartment, Hallie plunged onto his couch, flicking off her shoes. He, on the other hand, went straight to his room onto his bed. He just lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling tired, more emotionally than physically.
“Mikhailovic, what the hell is wrong with you?” He asked himself.
He looked back at his day with Hallie, trying to make sense of everything he felt, analyzing them but not coming up with an answer no matter how he tried.
The way he looked at Hallie earlier, he felt things that he’s never felt so strongly before. He wanted to hold her, to hug her. He wanted to kiss her, to have her.
He wanted her.
He closed his eyes. He’s had that thought before. He even dreamed about it. But he never felt it like that before. It was just so powerful right then that he feared he was gonna lose control. And he almost did too.
And then Ivan came in the picture and he felt something different again. He felt angry and jealous and he wanted to scream and be mad but he felt powerless to do so. He has never felt that before either. Not that strongly.
It was very different from how angry he could be on the tennis court when things aren’t going his way. He has never felt so incompetent and it made him sick.
He just wanted to stay there in the darkness and solitude of his room, but that was not to be. All of a sudden the door opened and light flooded the room. He sat up in surprise. It was Hallie.
“Did you forget I was still here?” She asked.
She jumped on the bed next to him. “You didn’t come back out, I thought you were sleeping already!”
He looked at her, lying there beside him, looking up at him. She looked so much more comfortable in her skin around him now.
It wasn’t several months ago that she would blush and stiffen up just being in his bedroom. He smiled as he remembered that incident, as he remembered that girl.
No, she is not the same girl, he thought. She most definitely is a woman in his eyes now.
“Aren’t you gonna ask me what we talked about?”
“Why would I want to know?” He said, with an uninterested look.
“Hmm…well, lemme see…” Hallie said, turning over to her left so she’d be looking at him.
“The last time we were together, you said you wanted to know me. And when you left our flat, Jeff told me you were really worried about me and told me that maybe I should let you in, because you deserve it…and because you’re…my friend. So, now, I've decided to let you know everything that’s going on. So…are you gonna ask me what we talked about?”
Marat laid back down on the bed, “No.” He said, “But you’re gonna tell me anyway, right?”
She laughed, “Yeah, I think I will.”
So, Hallie told him everything she and Ivan had talked about. She told Marat, at first she was really mad at Ivan. Not just for his past mistakes but also for putting out her naked pictures for everyone to see.
He explained that he has kept the pictures for a long time. He didn’t really plan on putting out the photos, but since he saw her at the club with Marat, he decided to include them in the show thinking that he may have some friends who would come to see the exhibit and the news will eventually get to Hallie.
He also apologized profusely for leaving her. He told her that he just got really scared and figured she won’t be in danger anyway. He said he planned to come back and get her when he has established himself as someone worthy of her in the eyes of her family.
“And you believed him?” He asked, incredulously.
“Yes.” She said, simply.
It was hard for her not to. She used to love him so much. He was the first man she had ever loved.
“Are you kidding me?” Marat said, he sounded a bit miffed now.
He turned on his side, facing Hallie. He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to ask her if she hasn’t learned her lessons yet about Ivan. He wanted to say there was probably a reason why her family didn’t want him around her. He wanted to tell her she was being stupid. But he restrained himself.
“What am I supposed to do?” She asked. “It’s not like were getting back together.”
“You’re not?” He asked. “You didn’t take him back?”
“No.” Hallie said.
Ivan had asked her, but she didn’t say yes. She told him instead that they could try to be friends. He asked her if it was because of Marat.
When he asked that question, she couldn’t deny the fact that she did feel something for Marat. Of course, there was her family, her brothers, with whom she had just reunited. But there was something there for Marat too, even though she couldn’t articulate it.
So, she didn’t answer his question. She figured she needed to asses and evaluate everything first before she comes up with the conclusion.
But she was not going to tell Marat that either.
“There are far too many factors that I need to think about before I decide on anything like that.” She lay back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
“That’s right!” Marat said, pleased with Hallie’s decision. “You need to consider what your brothers are gonna say. Remember what that guy put you through. I personally don’t want the same thing to happen to you again. I mean, sure, you’re grown up now, and you can take care of yourself, but the emotional torment you underwent through those times, you shouldn’t go through that again.”
Hallie smiled a bit with what Marat said. She feels like he really does care about her, and that made her feel happy. And just to completely take the tension in the air out, she decided it was time to play.
“I know.” She said. “But…he’s just so sexy!”
“What?!”
“It’s true, he is! I mean, who wouldn’t get persuaded by a guy like that?”
“I cannot believe I’m hearing this from you right now…”
“C’mon, you saw him…he had those sexy lips, and eyes that could melt the North Pole…”
“I don’t need to hear that!” He said, covering his ears with the sides of his pillow.
“He’s got an 8-pack!” Hallie continued, laughing. “An 8-pack, not just six!” She tried to pull his hand off the pillow so his ears will be open.
“I’m not hearing you!!”
“I could eat off of his abs, I’m telling you!! I could live off of peanut butter and him alone!”
“Stop!!” He yelled
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Marat drove Hallie home because it was already really late. She wasn’t gonna ask him to but he insisted. He was enjoying his time with her, laughing the whole time, and he just didn’t want the night to end yet.
“Hmm…Hal?” Marat said.
They were at the elevator, going up to Hal’s place. He was standing behind her, watching her on the reflective metal door.
“Yeah?” She said, watching the floor number change.
“About what I said in the gallery…when we were looking at your pictures…”
She remembered everything he said and they made her smile, wickedly. “Which part, that I had really amazing legs? That you wouldn’t mind giving me a backrub? That you could eat off of my stomach? Or, that you got horny looking at my photos?”
She looked at him, grinning naughtily. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell my brothers.”
The elevator opened to her floor and she got out, followed by Marat.
He smiled and shook his head, “Well, thank you. But I was gonna say I didn’t meant them.”
“Really?” She said, not turning around.
“Yeah.” He said, “Except for the part where I told you…you’re beautiful.”
That made her stop for a second, but she didn’t want to be obvious so she continued walking.
At the apartment, to Hal’s surprise Keith was there. He was supposed to meet her to see the art exhibit instead of Marat, but apparently he couldn’t get out of work and was even unreachable.
So she was really surprised to see him home. She nagged about him not showing not only for her but also for the supposed woman that gave him the tickets.
In his defense, he said he had promised to take the woman to dinner that Friday. He also reiterated that he didn’t really want to go to the exhibit coz it wasn’t his taste in art.
But, the hot seat was transferred to Hal and Marat when Keith asked about the exhibit.
“So, how was it?” Keith asked, “I heard they have nudes which wasn’t originally in the show?”
Hal and Marat gave each other a look. Keith caught it but he didn’t know what to make of it.
“Well, how was it? Was it classy or tacky? Maybe I should go and take a look anyway, huh?” He said to Marat.
“NO!” Marat said, “I mean, no…you shouldn’t. It’s not worth seeing at all.”
“Really? It’s that bad?”
“Yes, it’s really bad!” Hallie said, “It’s so very bad. Tasteless. You wouldn’t appreciate it, you should stick to classical.”
“Huh.” Keith said, “Okay.”
Marat and Hal gave a collective sigh of relief, silently, of course, lest Keith catches them and get suspicious. Of course, Hallie didn’t want Keith to see her naked pictures. But more importantly, she didn’t want him to know that it was Ivan who took those pictures.
As for Marat, he just didn’t think it was any of his business to say anything about it.
Later that night…
“Hello?” Hallie answered the phone.
The number was not listed in her phonebook so she had no idea who it was.
“Hi.” The person said at the other line. She knew then who it was.
“Why are you calling?” She asked nervously. "How did you get my number?"
She didn’t want to wake up Jeff who was sleeping on the comforter on the floor beside the bed.
“I got it from the guest list you signed at the gallery." He said, "I just wanted to hear your voice.”
Hallie couldn’t respond. What should she say?
“Can I see you?” He asked.
“I don’t know.” She said.
“Please. Hal, I just need to see you.”
She knew she shouldn’t. Her mind was telling her not to. But sometimes the heart speaks louder.
“Okay.” She heard herself say.
“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow night?”
“Okay.”